Significant memories are encoded in our brains in neural nets.
Frequently, some event in the present can activate one of these old encoded memories. This is why we might overreact to something that happens in the present that might seem unimportant, like an engine backfire.
The original memory that was triggered might have been so painful that we no longer think about it. In fact, it could be from a time before we could even talk.
Probably, we were not able to talk about it and work through it when it happened, so the memory got stuck. It might replay over and over again like a scene from a movie.
The good news is, research now shows that “every act of recall is potentially an act of modification.” (Siegal, 1999)
By allowing yourself to revisit that memory, slowly and carefully, in the company of compassionate therapist or other trusted person, you can make that memory not so frightening.
The memory of the comfort you receive when talking about it can be encoded in the neural net along with the original memory.
This actually changes the wiring in your brain, for the better!
You can remaster the memories of your life!
By doing this, you can learn to comfort yourself.
And gain mastery of yourself!